Tagged: ego

Confusing confidence with a “big ego”

 

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The word “ego” often comes up in conversations about teachers, and not in a positive sense.

We hear teachers being described as having a “big ego”. However, this is usually in reference to teachers who are confident. This confidence comes through by:

  • consistently putting ideas on the table
  • coming up with an approach and going for it
  • refusing to allow oneself to be bullied
  • projecting an image of confidence to students
  • looking confident
  • taking on the challenge of leading people
  • stepping up to deal with situations
  • consistently contributing to discussions in large groups

Sure, these can sometimes spill over into arrogance or an inflated ego, but usually only when people feel cornered, subject to critical scrutiny by colleagues or – inevitably – malicious gossip.

I think a teacher ego – in it’s negative sense – is much less visible than the things in the list above. I think a negative teacher ego manifests itself as:

  • believing one is much better at one’s job than one is
  • claiming good practice is obvious, yet not actually doing it
  • being a know-it-all
  • always referring to one’s own ideas, thoughts and practices and not those of other people
  • making it clear that other people’s perspectives matter less than one’s own, either consciously or subconsciously
  • consistently talking while other people are talking
  • finishing other people’s sentences
  • shutting people down
  • consistently judging other people’s practice and behaviour
  • believing other people are interested in one’s negative or critical thoughts
  • struggling to see anything from other people’s perspectives
  • consistently making everything about oneself
  • making one’s problems someone else’s problems

These behaviours are subtle, divisive and destructive… and particularly so because they are not usually the behaviours of people who are often described as “having a big ego”. Instead, they are often the behaviours of people who come across as insecure and, as a result, are quite hidden.

I should clarify that I’m not writing this posting because of anything that has happened to me recently… some, but not all, of my postings are autobiographical! I guess I’m writing this posting because I would like to see an increasingly sophisticated understanding of:

  • what confidence is and why it is important for young people to be taught by confident adults
  • how to avoid writing off confident people as having a “big ego” and preventing that initial observation from manifesting itself as malicious gossip
  • how to deal with the more subtle, egotistical behaviours that do more harm in our schools than any confident, or even over-confident, behaviours could ever do

 

image from https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/positive-ego-nancy-steidl-1

 

 

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